*Let everybody see that I Love you and you Love me*
Saturday, July 15, 2006
im serious
its the time of the nite where i start thinking about things.. so i shall share stuff with you all. well, today i was at my dad's shop having dinner rite, then there was like some sort of fun fair next to it... so we were like watching all these small kids play the rides. the kids were like so so so happy just sitting on those mindless rides and jumping on some funny thing. their parents would either accompany them or stand at the side cheering them. everyone just seemed really happy. then my daddy said "thats wat ya call the simple pleasures of life".... after he said that... it got me thinking and for a moment, i kinda felt very sad.
it got me thinking about my life when i was a kid and the life i am living now. it was very seldom that my parents brought us to such fairs or theme parks anyway... bec i get sick sitting on rides! but thats not the point. i guess i was just brought up differently... the only times i think i felt really happy was when my daddy buys stuff for me. until now, i still kick up a fuss if daddy doesnt wanna buy me something i want. i just feel very horrible. i really think that being a parent is damn bloody hard lah... i dunno wat to do.
then i start thinking about my life now... about all the partying and late nites while my parents work their ass off just to finance my entertainment. and how it is that they dun even scold me for doing all this shit. i think my parents just really trust me... that makes me feel so so bad lah. i know they have brought me up well, bec i myself know my limits and wats right for me! at least i know i study hard enough to make them proud despite all the partying. i think i should really change my lifestyle... i know they are upset that i dun have meals with them or talk to them as often... but the thing is, they like to talk about a certain subject that i wish to avoid for the rest of my life.(go figure) its so hard to hide things from them.
oh well... i hope my time away from home would do me some good.. or teach me to appreciate home more or something! but everytime i think of me in ireland, and leonard in the states. i cant help but feel so so sad... my parents would be so lonely... but then again, im always not home which makes no diff from me going to ireland. =( argh... wat have i gotten myself into? this feeling really really sucks. i think from now on.. i'm just gonna try to be a really good daughter. heheee
